I hope you’ve had a great week. Do you find each week going faster? Or perhaps if you have school aged children the holidays have made time slow down. I certainly find when I have my grandchildren around, like we did on the weekend, time goes more slowly. I think they keep me in the moment. It’s not all Zen mindfulness though. When they wake up at 6am to play trains it makes for a pretty long day.
As well as babysitting grandchildren this week I watched Wayne Dyer’s movie “The Shift,” which is currently available to view for free at the Hay House website. I can’t recommended this movie highly enough. I’ve watched it many times.
I’ve been a fan of Dr Wayne Dyer for a long time. He’s an author, speaker and spiritual teacher. When I was first practising as a Hypnotherapist, twenty years ago, I lent most of my clients a copy of Wayne’s audio cassette, (that’s how long ago it was) “Your Erroneous Zones.” This recording has so much common sense advice about how to approach life, clear up our faulty thinking and take responsibility for our own emotions.
For many of my clients it started them on the journey of personal growth and transformation. This recording is now available on YouTube and although Wayne’s teachings have evolved since then and become much more spiritual this recording is worth gold. CLICK HERE to access.
Wayne passed away just over a year ago. My husband, Harry, and I attended his weekend seminar in Melbourne a week prior to his sudden death. During this seminar and he shared a wealth of wisdom and kept his audience spellbound for two whole days. He radiated love and peace and I’m sure he inspired everyone there to reassess their beliefs and values.
When the movie The Shift was first released in Australia it was called “Ambition to Meaning. ” Over the course of a weekend this movie follows a number of parallel stories of people struggling with life, interspersed with Wayne’s teachings. Its a movie that speaks to the heart and soul so get your tissues ready.
At one point he describes the experience many people have called a Quantum Shift. This is a profound “Aha” moment when people are triggered to re-evaluate their lives. It may come out of the blue, very suddenly, or it may be a gradual shift but it has the potential to turn your values upside down.
In this movie Wayne talks about a study that was done exploring what actually changes when people have that awakening. The study by William R Miller asked people to rate their values before and after a Quantum Shift. Apparently it’s different for men and women.
As much as I try to avoid being sexist, whether it’s the result of nature or nurture, in our culture men and women are different. We are definitely conditioned to value different things but those things we are taught to value don’t necessarily bring us joy and fulfilment. Perhaps a Quantum Shift reboots the hard-drive and brings us back to factory settings, back to our true nature.
So what did the study find? Well, before the Shift men valued:
1. Wealth
2. Adventure
3. Achievement
4. Pleasure and fun
5. Being respected
Other things high on the list for men were comfort, fame and power.
I recently heard a comment on a promo for a TV Talk Show that women are over functioning and men are under functioning. That may well be the case (for some) when it comes to home and family commitments but there’s still an enormous amount of pressure for the man to achieve at work, be the breadwinner and bring in a reliable income. Many men are under enormous pressure to be successful and they often release this pressure with activities like sport and risk taking, drinking or escaping into their man cave.
At this stage of life, which Wayne refers to as the morning of life, our culture conditions men to be proud. They have a need to be respected and when they fail they suffer terribly.
After The Shift men value:
1. Spirituality
2. Personal peace. Less anxiety and stress
3. Family
4. Purpose and meaning for their lives
5. Honesty and authenticity. The ability to opening express their emotions
This awakening makes men reassess whether their worth should really measured by their income or their status. Being tough and defending their honour are no longer important. Winning or being right are no longer valued. Genuine connection to others and inner peace are now priorities. After The Shift men discover the satisfaction of contribution to the greater good, rather than focusing on their own personal gains
On the other hand women initially valued:
1. Family
2. Independence
3. Career
4. Fitting in. Being accepted by others
5. Attractiveness
These things highlight the pressure women are under and the conflict they struggle with to do it all, look gorgeous and be liked by everyone in the process. No wonder so many women are feeling burnt out and suffering from health issues. Many women live on the knife edge between guilt and resentment. It seems like nothing they do is enough or right. They are often stretched between family and work until they reach breaking point and self-care is seen as a luxury.
After The Shift women value:
1. Their own personal growth
2. Self-Esteem
3. Connection to something greater than themselves
4. Their own personal happiness not just the happiness of others
5. Clearing resentment and letting go of the past
I must say that many of the people I’ve worked with lately, both men and women, are making their way through The Shift. They might have experienced an crisis and are forced to make changes or they might just have an underlying unrest. A yearning for something more. Whatever the catalyst, changing gears is a good thing.
Speaking of gears, I’m not sure if you’ve ever driven a manual car. When you change gears you need to put your foot on the clutch to disengage the gearbox briefly while you change from one gear to another. At the same time you ease your foot off the accelerator and when your timing is right the gear change goes smoothly and quietly. If you don’t use the clutch correctly the change can be excruciating, jarring, damaging and noisy.
Of course not everyone makes The Shift. Some people continue through life in second gear, burn lots of fuel and don’t get very far but if you’re ready for life to be much more cruisey you might want to disengage, take some time out to reassess life, learn to meditate, reconnect with your heart and soul, find your passion, do what brings you joy. You might even need to get some driving lessons from someone who’s learned to change gears smoothly.
That’s all for now. Have a great week,
Warm Regards,
Alison Burton
Health and Happiness Guru